I haven’t been looking forward to the epic 4-day Easter holiday this year because, well, I don’t have one. And everyone else does. All my family’s interstate, my friends and housemates have gone away & my boyfriend? Well he’s somewhere between Kathmandu and Mount Everest Base Camp right now.
Which means I’m alone this Easter. Yep, all alone-ne-lone-e-lone (and clearly dealing with it!)
Interestingly though, all this solitude has unveiled some shocking self-revelations. I don’t know, perhaps the things I got up to are things we all do when we’re alone; or maybe it’s just me & I’ve discovered the ‘Real Rosie’.
So, here’s the TOP 12 things I discovered about myself, when I’m alone:
1 I AM A SLOTH
I discovered my true spirit animal. With no one watching, and no one to judge, why wouldn’t I indulge in a 5-hour Jane The Virgin marathon on a gorgeous, sunny Hobart day? Why would I shower regularly? Or waste my precious time cleaning the dishes? Actually at one point, I ran out of clean plates; in a house which FOUR people live in; which has A DISHWASHER!
Speaking of health, why cook proper meals when you’re alone? I ate scrambled eggs as a main meal TWICE in one day. The other meal that day was a hot-cross bun. Okay fine, it was two!
With no one watching, and no one to judge, why wouldn’t I indulge!
2 I WATCH TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE TV
I’m going to admit to watching something now & I beg you, try not judge me too severely: I watched … The Real Housewives all afternoon! And it wasn’t even the Melbourne chicks; that would kind of been a little more forgivable. No, it was The Real Housewives of BEVERLEY HILLS! Women I have ZERO things in common with. Except maybe the fact that at some point in our lives we all had natural boobs & lips.
3 I AM THE RESIDENT DJ
Sure I’m spending most of my time inside alone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t put together a mean playlist for my apartment complex. Helloooo underutilized sound system! Luckily for them, I have impeccable taste. Just go ask them! What’s that? They’re also all away on holidays? Oh well, you’ll just have to take my word!
4 I LOVE MIRRORS
I guess as a direct result to my mad dj’ing skills, one is just drawn to mirrors; lip-syncing battles for one, dance routines Rihanna would be proud of and a whole lot of talking to one’s self. It’s fair to say the mirrors in this house have never been better appreciated.
5 I ORGANISE
Sure there’s some sloth-like behaviour going on, but when it comes to the nitty gritty, solo Rosie is like SUPER organised. She makes lists (this blog, was number 9 on a list of 14. For Sunday). She alphabetically arranges the spices in the pantry. And yes, she did just colour coordinate the shirts in her wardrobe.
6 I BECOME VERY AWARE OF MY BREASTS
Not in a sexual, “I’m home alone, why don’t you put on your webcam,” kind of way! Ya dirty pervert!
More like in a, “I think I’ve successfully completed my annual breast check,” kind of way. Breast aware? Tick!
7 I’M A GOOD CATHOLIC GIRL
I’m here to tell you, Catholic education works, people. Yep. I went to church. Well, I went into a church. Albeit slightly encouraged by Lonely Planet’s recommendation for it’s historical significance to Australian history. But hey, it was a church, during Easter. Still counts!
And if that’s not enough to make my parents feel like the 13 years of catholic education they paid for wasn’t a complete waste, I didn’t even eat meat on Good Friday. Sure, partly because I’m too lazy or poor to buy meat. And then there was that phone call from my mum halfway through the day – “I hope you didn’t eat meat today” – where she guilted me into leaving the house to go and buy fish for dinner. And I listened. See? Good Catholic girl.
8 I’M A TRADITIONALIST
So I was devastated I had no kids around to organise an Easter Egg Hunt for & watch their little faces light up when they found those shiny nuggets of sugary gold. But, I still organised a hunt for one; I put my the one Easter egg I had in the freezer on Thursday night & tried to forget it was there until Sunday morning.
9 I SHOP; A LOT
Dear employer, paying me on the Thursday before a four-day long weekend was a terrible decision! Shopping is so easy when you’re bored. It’s one of the greatest things to do on your own (especially online, on the couch). And if you walked into my room right now, you would be forgiven for thinking we’ve just celebrated Christmas. Thinking of all the people I miss, makes me want to buy them pretty things. What can I say? I’m generous …sue me! Actually don’t. I probably can’t afford it.
10 I DRINK; A LOT
My wine consumption over the past four days has increased by at least … 50%?! I’ll be honest here, I pulled that number out of my arse: my maths skills are rubbish on an average day, let alone after a couple of glasses of red wine!
11 I’M A NINJA
Yep. I’m like a little Easter ninja, because if it wasn’t for this blog, there is no actual remaining evidence that any of the above-mentioned travesties ever happened. I destroyed it all, before other human beings returned into my world.
Well except for the last glass of wine that i’m still nursing here. Mmmmm, red wine.
12 I DON’T HATE BEING ALONE
Considering I was dreading this past weekend – and at times I consciously chose to hibernate instead of the risk of looking like some loner, short-girl outside in the real world – I didn’t hate it. And if everything I did, did reveal the ‘Real Rosie’, I don’t hate her either.
In saying that though … please don’t make me do Christmas alone.
Leave a Reply